Sounds like a scene from 'Monte Carlo or Bust' and it felt bit like that last week. I broke down a few times as I struggled onward and needed to top up on fuel at my friends houses in order to keep going. Last week was difficult, non-flowing and complex and took the wind right out of my sails. It just goes to show you - you never know what is around the corner. Cut a long story short I almost gave up this botanical pursuit. Most unlike me - I never give up, but several times over the past several days I have found myself close to complete breakdown. I am tired and that doesn't help, both physically after marching across London, and mentally. Emotionally I am pretty stretched and all of these are dampening my spirit. But I mean to go on - not because of how much we have all invested or through personal pride, but because I know no other way. It has always been my belief that I was born to paint plants. To me, painting is like breathing fresh air. It's an innate need. It would be easy for me to blame my reason for giving up on the many pressures coming in from all directions, but I know the real reason is that all these pressures had no outlet at the time. I hadn't painted properly for ten days whilst being on the move and I felt it. Thankfully my brushes are now touching paper and I feel more grounded as a result. So my advice is when you are this close to giving up painting - paint.
|Blackberries (Rubus ulmifolius) ripening - a work in progress|
|Rubus ulmifolius fruit ripening - close up|
What makes this piece tricky is the spectrum of colour (yellow, peach, grays, blues, reds, magenta's, blacks, pinks, greens and white tints) and the two textures - shiny berries with many tints to the velvety stem. The leaves are not a problem - haha - I am lucky in that they rarely are. I am starting to wish that I had mastered the medium of masking fluid, but out of stubbornness I have not, so I am having to dance around every speck of white. Fun.
|Rubus ulmifolius fruit ripening - a work in progress|
|Close up of the bottom of the raceme of Rubus ulmifolius - work in progress|